Ladies, as most of you know this wedding planning stuff has been a breeze for me. Everything is flying into place and we've managed to stay organized through the entire process and I'm really not worried about anything wedding-related.
However, one issue has really gotten me stressed, worried, upset, and freaked out.....Birth Control!
I've never practiced any kind of birth control before because, well, I've never had a reason to. And once we're married Adam and I are looking forward to having children...probably a lot of children. But we would both like to get a handle on being husband and wife before we start to throw children in the mix. We also want to be in a better financial place because we would like for me to stay at home once kids come in to the picture. So we want to wait at least a little while before we have a baby.
The problem is we're finding a ton of conflicting information and it's all really overwhelming.
Our convictions are that life begins as soon as an egg is fertilized by a sperm, which would rule out many (if not most) popular forms of birth control. From my understanding, birth control pills typically have 3 mechanisms in which they prevent pregnancy: first, they decrease the possibility of ovulation, so that an egg can't be fertilized by sperm, secondly, they change the cervical fluid so that it is impossible for the sperm to reach the egg, and failing those two mechanisms, the pill prevents an already fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus. That's where we have a problem. We do not believe it is okay to destroy an already fertilized egg. So we need another option.
Because of that, I started looking into Natural Family Planning and the Fertility Awareness Method. With these methods, there is no need to take any medications or use any contraceptive devices regularly because you pay attention to your body's signals and determine when it is safe to have unprotected sex. The problem is that this method requires copious attention to detail and charting. We only have 2 months until our wedding and I've never kept track of my cycle before, so I'm nervous about determining the way my cycle works with only two months of charting to use as a sample. I'm not sure that my limited experience in charting would be enough to determine my regularity, and to ensure that I'm observing the signals properly. So that has me super nervous.....I mean, really, super nervous!
So we found a website that is written by Christian people who hold the same convictions as we do. They say that there are in fact some birth control medications that prevent the woman from ovulating at all so that there is no chance of an egg being fertilized. And they provided a list of pills that would be "okay" to take, according to them.
The problem is, you can't believe everything you read on the Internet. And we don't just want to read one article on one website and determine our course of action from there.
So I'm wondering if any of my lady friends have struggled with this issue before. Does anyone practice natural family planning or the fertility method? What's it like? Does anyone take any kind of birth control? What should I expect with that?
We're just kind of at a loss and we're at a point now where we really need to make a decision either way. So I'm really wanting some advice and some information from women who have been there before.
I have an appointment with my doctor to talk about all of this next week, but I still want to hear from some other women about their experience with their method of choice.
Once again, thanks for reading and responding. It means a lot to me!
WOW... never looked at it that way!!! I've been on the depo shot (gains weight) the Neuva ring (my sister loves is, i did not) and a couple differnt methods of pills i would look up indivdual methods such as the ring the depo the merana (a small surgical incision) and check them out see what difent sites say about them definlity talk to you doc about them and the things you want!! as for being natural, thats scary situation, b/c even if you are careful aout fertlization. it can still happen no matter what they tell you, you are most fertl like 2 weeks before your period and like 1 week after or something like that.. so you only have 1 week but thats not a gaurente, you'd hafta talk to someone who knows more about that. I've been on the pill for about 7 years, and only recently had a scare and it was because of different reasons nothing with the pill, just a more fertl man i was with this time. but no matter what u choose.. you'll need to start that method right away... because the longer you are on them the better the chances of not getting prego. I doubt this helped you too much, but i just wanted to give you my input. and just be careful whith the natural way, and be selective on the methods if your worried.. look up the different types and the names of them and you can see what each type does, the hormmones involved and so forth!!... sorry i'm not much more help. i just know i take a pill and i don't have a kid! I'd be in trouble if i did. But Good for you for looking all that up!! thats awesome!!
ReplyDeleteHey there is really no bc that you can take that won't completely prevent an egg from being fertilized. I have an iud which is not a good option for you since you haven't kids.
ReplyDeleteCondoms baby. Esp if you think you will want to try soon don't take bc cause it can take a while to become fertile again. If you are proctected for a couple months you can see if your cycle is regular. If not don't do the rhythm method, for us that resulted in Lydia and I was pretty regular.
Good Luck!
Hey there Nicole,
ReplyDeleteI would agree with Melinda, but condoms will probably not be good for Adam because he won't be able to enjoy you fully. But you are right if you want to go on bc then you need to get started right away b/c it takes about 2 months for it to get into your system. If you only take bc for a year or so it shouldn't take you body long to go back to normal once you go off and are ready to have kids. I would say that your doctor will know which bc to use for your beliefs. Hope your appointment goes well! :)
my mom conceived me AND my two sisters during an "off" part of her cycle when she thought she wasnt ovulating and couldnt get pregnant, so i would count that method out completely. i hated the depo shot because i gained a ton of weight too. i love the pill and i always understood that it prevented ovulation, not prevented implantation. i have been researching this alot for other reasons and this is what i found out. Hormone levels in your body spike when you ovulate, then drop dramatically. The drop in hormones is what causes your period. The birth control pill distributes hormones in such a way that there is no spike, so you never ovulate. your body already thinks you're pregnant, therefore it does not release another egg. then you have a week when you dont take any pills, which causes your levels to drop, tricking your body into thinking you ovulated, it was unfertilized, and it needs to be flushed, triggering your period. i think a gyno or ob would be able to tell you for sure.
ReplyDeleteHey Nic, this is Keeks. From what I know about birth control pills, they act to prevent ovulation. Your body will think it is pregnant thus not allowing pregnancy to occur. I have taken Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo for quite a while. Before I ever needed it while married to prevent pregnancy, I used it to regulate my cycles starting in high school. It has successfully regulated my cycle, and I have not gained weight on it at all. Some may find a daily pill an annoyance, but I take it at the same time everyday and have not had a problem remembering. This type also has the lowest dose of hormones and is quite a safe alternative to higher doses of hormones found in the birth control patch (worn for 7 days at a time) and other prevention options. As far as condoms go, they can greatly decrease the man's sensation and experience. This is of course something for you and him to decide between yourselves. These are just my two cents on the subject. Good for you on researching this issue though! Your doctor will have much more information for you and hopefully answer all the questions you may have.
ReplyDeleteNicole,
ReplyDeleteI was on Nuva Ring for a year and got a blood clot... but everyone is different, but personally I do not suggest it. I was on birth control and used a condom and conceived my son. (but had only been on birth control for a month and we "lost" the condom in the heat of passion) If you are seriously considering unprotected sex and using your body signals then I would definitely say the pull out method might be a better option for you until you get the hang of your cycles. Good luck on you and Adam making your decision!!! Lacey
There are plenty of birth control pills out there that your doctor can recommend which you will feel comfortable taking with your convictions. Your doctor will know what to recommend. Just make sure to take the pill every day at the same time, as directed. You will have to start them ASAP - you need to be on the pill a month before your honeymoon! I also recommend condoms.
ReplyDeleteNatural Family Planning does not take into consideration if your body is irregular or under stress. It is simply not effective. Your doctor will probably tell you this as well.
No worries. Have fun!!!
Nicole, you don't know me but I'm Mark Stewart's Mom- one of the young men Adam works with @ Salem. I'm a nurse practitioner with strong Christian convictions about reproduction.
ReplyDeleteOnly an IUD prevents implantation of a fertilized egg- and it has a LOT of warnings and side effects. For this reason, a lot of Christian health care providers refuse to use or recommend this form of birth control. I have been prescribing natural hormones for almost 10 years now and unfortunately there is not a pregnancy prevention one yet.
I have been recommending natural family planning for several yrs. to those who are interested with great success. I have a pamphlet and phone # @ my office for a support group for this type of birth control. I believe they have a web site and can help you find local couples who use this method and can be available to teach and support. Send me an email if you want more information.
I did not learn about my own body's hormonal cues until I was trying to get pregnant. Sadly, I worried and swallowed pills that weren't necessary for 5 yrs. - I was infertile! It's not that hard and there is support to learn. Here's the bottom line- you can only get pregnant about 3 days/month. So once you learn these simple cues- you can avoid sex or use a barrier method.
I refuse to prescribe birth control pills- not because they harm a fetus- they truly only keep you from ovulating (no egg is released, so no pregnancy can occur)- but due to the harm not ovulating does to your body. When you ovulate hormones are released that we have receptor sites from head to toe. This isn't just a female ovary/uterus/breast issue. It can and does effect your mood, energy, libido, sleep cycles and many body systems you would never consider to be hormonal. I could go on and on. Not everyone experiences these symptoms nor do they realize these symptoms are related to their birth control pill.
All that being said- God gave you your body and soon you will share it with your husband. Birth control is a very private and personal decision. I'll be praying for you and Adam to have peace about your decision. May the Lord Jesus bless your marriage and family- trust Him in all of it.
Email- cavecroft@comcast.net
Check out LadyComp!!! This advice given from personal experience and from the time I have personally spent researching the same issues. I count many of those I know who have faithfully used it with no reservation. If you would like to ask me further information please do not hesitate, I am a fried of your finance from college. I will give him my info. via facebook to keep this private and he can pass it on to you and you can do with it as you like. Hope this helps.
ReplyDeleteNicole -
ReplyDeleteI am the mom of one of Adam's high school friends. The statement about only being able to get pregnant 3 days a month is not always true. I conceived my daughter the day after I finished my period and that is not one of those 3 days. Luckily we were planning on "trying to get pregnant" the next month. We were just a little ahead.....
I started checking out birth control pills about a year before we got married...it took me that long to find one that would fit me....with ortho low I spotted three weeks out of the month and a couple of others didn't work for me either. I finally found one that worked, and that is what I used for the first five years of marriage. We are getting to a place now where we are ready to "quit preventing". We have used condoms the last few months to give time for the bc to completely get out of my system. We have not had one bust or come off or anything like that. I don't notice too much of a difference, but I will let Stroube talk to Moon about his thoughts.
ReplyDeleteAs far as natural family planning goes....I would atleast use condoms while you are trying to figure out your cycle. There are three days during your cycle that you are most fertile, but you can get pregnant any time during your cycle (saw this on an OBGYN's website)...especially if you aren't regular. Please let me know if you have any other questions...you can call me anytime.