Archives: Flying Tips for Superman

Friday, June 30, 2006
Archives: Flying Tips for Superman
June 30, 2006 - Friday
Current mood: curious

I just saw the new Superman movie tonight...I wasn't going to go, but my wonderful and gorgeous friends Ali and Kim talked me into it. I thought I would hate it, but I actually quite enjoyed myself. I'm taking my brother to see it sometime soon again.

But, I do have a few questions for the man himself.

1. Don't you think you'd get better trajectory if you flew with your hands open, palms facing down, rather than the closed fist thing you do? I just think it would be more convenient for steering purposes...You don't see birds flying with their wings folded up...they spread them out. But, then again, I suppose that wouldn't help with the rumors that you are gay...you aren't are you?

2. Which leads to my second question....When are you planning to come rescue me? (That man is a talk drink of water...amazing, only he wears a little too much makeup)

3. Does it bother you that Lois Lane's eyes are two different colors? (If you go see the movie, check it out...her left eye is blue and her right eye is brown...this is particularly noticeable in the hospital scene)

4. What's with the jerry curl? (My friends and I were discussing this...it must be the jerry curl that renders him unrecognizeable to the general public and anyone else who knows Clark Kent...Kim posed an interesting thought on this matter: he must take the time after ripping his clothes off in an elevator to slick back his hair and then delicately form the curl and place it just so on his forehead)

5. Have you ever considered moving to a rural farm community in, say, Iowa or something? It appears to me you would have fewer demands if you were to live in a less populated area.

I have also decided that, as amazing and masculine and sexy and heroic as Superman is, I would never want to be in a relationship with him...That guy is just too busy. I would never get to spend any time with him, unless I got myself hurt or kidnapped or something...and that's really a lot of trouble to go to just to see someone. But if Clark is ever around, he can give me a call.

The movie is excellent for anyone who wants to go see it...It may be a little scary for children under 10. But there's not any language, nudity or sex in it. There is some violence, though...just a fair warning, and it is also nearly three hours long, so be sure to sit near the aisle so you can get out for a potty break if you need to...My mistake tonight, I had to climb over a couple of elderly people about 20 minutes into the movie.